I can't believe ten years have passed since I started this blog. A whole decade! And it's been ten years that I've been with Bill.
I guess I should give a little update about those last ten years, before I divulge the reason for writing a new post after such a long time.
Bill was great (he still is, but I'll get to that). Those first dates we had made me feel like a teenager again. I fell in love with him quickly, and he with me. I never told him about the bizarre ritual I used, the one that was the focus of this very blog. I was never quite sure if the reason we met was because of all that weird chanting or if it was just coincidence. I wasn't about to ruin the best thing that had happened to me in years by making myself look like a mad woman!
After we had been dating three months I introduced him to the kids. They're not stupid, they knew something was going on and that I wasn't out visiting "Auntie Maud" all those times! They were happy for me, they'd been telling me I should meet someone. Bill took us all out to a restaurant so they could get to meet him. I think he was hoping to buy their approval with food, but he didn't need to — they took to him instantly. He's such a likeable guy.
When we got home my oldest hugged me and said she was so happy that I had found someone to make me happy.
In our second year together I asked Bill to move in with us. I'd talked it through with the kids obviously. It's their home too, the only one they've ever known. I wouldn’t bring someone else in without their approval. Again they were happy for me and agreed without hesitation.
Since my husband, I always said I'd never get married again. Although I didn't know it at the time, it was my refusal to broach the subject that started me and Bill on a downhill slope, a very slow one.
Things were brilliant for years, but at the end of last year they started to go wrong. Bill kept dropping hints about weddings and the like. I refused to engage on the subject. He took me away for a weekend in a fancy hotel (the kids are away at college now, so weekends away are one of our regular pleasures). It turned out that “quite by coincidence” there was a wedding fair on there that weekend. Subtle! I am ashamed to say I got in a mood with him and ruined the weekend. Looking back, that was probably the turning point — the moment it really went downhill.
After that he wasn't so subtle. He outright asked me to marry him. I didn't answer straight away. That's my fault. I should have just said no. I should have told him that after my husband I had promised myself and my kids that I wouldn't marry again. But that hesitation sent the wrong message. Bill took it to mean I wasn't that serious about him after all. It cost me dearly.
I'll spare you all the gory details. Suffice it to say that our relationship went down the pan quickly after that. He said what was the point in being together if I wasn't going to commit? I tried to explain that it wasn't like that, but he had made up his mind and that was that.
The day he moved out was the day the kids came home for vacation. Thank God they were there, because I think without them I would have fallen apart. I was besides myself with grief. I was crying on the doorstep, begging Bill to come back. Almost ten wonderful years together and it had come to this!
The kids helped me through it, even though they were obviously deeply upset themselves. They didn't say it, but I could tell they thought it was my fault. They thought I must have messed up. And they were right.
When they went back to college, I sank into a deep depression.
Christmas came and went, and that was hard, but again the kids got me through it. When the new year started I thought, I can't carry on like this. I tried to call Bill but he'd changed his number. I didn’t know where he was living. He'd disappeared off the face of the Earth. I didn't know what to do. I thought about hiring a private detective to find him, but that sounded creepy as hell. Besides, even if I found him, what could I say to him that I hadn't already said before he had left?
It was one night, in a drunken depression, that I was thinking about how we had first met. I was recalling memories, going further and further back, and I remembered this blog and the chanting I had used. In that drunken state the answer to my problem seemed obvious — I had got him once with the magic spell, maybe I could get him again.
In the cold light of morning that idea didn’t sound so great. But after another horrible day of dwelling on my loneliness, I thought what the hell, what have I got to lose?
I found the spell I had used before, the one that had (maybe) got me Bill, and I started the chanting. Same as before — candle, chanting, about half an hour a day. At least this time round I didn’t need to get up early to do it before the kids woke up!
I did the procedure for a week, like last time. It was easier this time around, because I had a concrete objective and a good expectation of a result. I waited.
And I waited.
And I waited some more.
Nothing happened. I’m not sure what I was expecting. Perhaps I thought Bill would turn up on the doorstep. But nothing happened. Perhaps meeting him had been a coincidence after all?
I sank back into my depression (the spell had given me hope and now that was dashed). I drank more, slept a lot, and only managed to pull myself out of it when the kids came back for a long weekend and I was forced to do so.
When they left and I was on my own again, I resolved to try and find a solution. I couldn’t carry on like this. I thought, okay, my spell didn’t work, but I still had this feeling that the first one was what had brought me and Bill together. I can’t explain it, but it’s like I knew it on a deep level. So I figured it couldn’t hurt to try to find another one.
That’s how I found a gentleman by the name of Joshua Stone. I was searching for free spells I could try myself, and I came across his site. Only he wasn’t telling you how to cast a spell, he said he would cast one for you - for free.
It sounded too good to be true. I remember from my original research that free love spells were rare, and people that cast them for you were even rarer. But as I read the success stories on Joshua’s site I couldn’t help but feel motivated to give this man a try.
Joshua had a form on his site which you have to fill in if you want him to cast a spell for you. He wanted my name, Bill’s name and date of birth, and a few details like whether or not we’d already been in a relationship. It took about a minute to fill it in and send it off. Again, it seemed too good to be true.
I think I filled in that form partly because I wanted to prove to myself that it was a scam of some sort. So I was surprised when Joshua sent an email to say he was examining my situation, and even more surprised when a day or two later he sent another one to say he was going to cast a spell for me.
There was a long wait for the spell because he said he was booked up in advance. The funny thing is even before the day of the spell arrived I was feeling much better. I felt like I had taken action, taken some sort of control. I felt calm, like everything was on the right track. Even the kids noticed it when they Skyped from college. I could see in their faces that they were relieved I was pulling myself back together.
I couldn’t sleep the night before the spell. I waited and waited, hoping for news. I re-read Joshua’s messages and saw he’d said it took him all day and all night to cast it, so in the end I fell asleep in my chair and woke up in the early hours. I dragged myself off to bed and slept through to nearly lunchtime. I awoke to an email from Joshua telling me that he’d finished the spell and that he thought it had gone well.
I felt like I’d just come round after an operation to be told the surgery had gone well! It was such a relief! I celebrated by getting myself properly washed and dressed and going out shopping for the first time I could remember. I’m quite glad I did that actually, because it wasn’t long after that the virus came and shut everything down!
Anyway, the whole point of reposting to this blog after a decade is to say that the spell worked. It took a few weeks, but I knew even before then that it was working…I could feel something had changed.
I was proved right when my phone rang. I knew it was Bill. The number wasn’t in my phone’s memory, and I never get spam calls, so I knew it was him. The first words he said were, “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you,” he said. Then, “And I’m sorry I disappeared. Can you ever forgive me?”
Was he kidding? I wanted him to forgive me!
When we finally saw each other again it was…I don’t have the words to describe it. It was magical. Yes, magical is a good word, because it felt magical and also because I’m sure it was Joshua’s magic that brought Bill back. Bill as much as said so himself. He said that he’d been so angry with me, and then one day that anger had subsided and he started to feel the love for me like he’d felt when we first fell in love. It all lined up perfectly with the spell.
I’m very happy we got back together before the world went mad with this terrible virus. Bill moved back in quite soon after that phone call. Another few weeks and we wouldn’t have been able to see each other with the lockdown. As it is we’ve spent lockdown together. It’s given us time to talk through our relationship and what each of us expects.
I’ve explained properly to Bill why I can’t marry him. I’ve never told anyone the reason before, not in detail. He was very understanding and said he didn’t care about a bit of paper or a ring, that all that mattered was being with me. He knew now that I was committed to our relationship.
So there you have it! That’s why, after ten years, I’ve resurrected this blog. Because this blog is about magic love spells, and because for the second time in my life a magic love spell has rescued me. It’s not the sort of thing I can tell anyone face to face. I can’t tell the kids. I can’t even tell Bill. But I can tell anyone reading this. That’s another kind of magic, isn’t it? The magic of the internet, and the ability to talk to strangers and to maybe offer them hope.
